In the name of Allah the most Gracious, the Merciful
Hello hello
Weh I am so tired dah beberapa hair demam daripada dua hari sebelum puasa, infectiopn di telinga lepastu demam. Raya pertama, kena selsema sebab air-con kereta ada yang agak berhabuk. Untuk semua hal yang berlaku, jujrnya saya sudah agak kehilangan tenaga untuk buat semua benda.
So anyway,
I have been writing since the year before I sat for my UPSR around 12, now I am in my 20s finishing my final year of degree. What a long time already.
Time has passed and I have changed a lot A LOT in a sense the past me cringed me too much.
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Babe wow. I stopped writing this on 4th April and now I just wanted to continue it. It's 1st of DECEMBER now!
I think I wanted to update how I got to know the someone I liked from college has a girlfriend and I wanted to express my sadness hahahaha.
Guess guess what I wanna update today.
Y'all, I am graduating in a few days!!!
For now, I just got to know I won an Award!! Best student in faculty for undergraduate I think. Firstly they asked for my CV and then suddenly I got invitation for the interview hahaha. It was really sudden and shokiert. I never knew my university has any award for except chancellor awards since we are pirvate university. I only know we have this award I think in my second year because my friend was obssessed with recognition and success, which is a normal thing for a normal person. I, on the other hand, stopped being obssesed with being too successful to the point I will get recognition since I was 15, after my first ever depression episode hit me. Since then, y'all just know I don't want anything in life, like babe. I dont even want to live this long life hahahha.
So the update is I am graduating, I will receive award, I ended my degree life with last 2 capture the flag competition. If anyone of you are familiar with it, I usually go by schwrzrschwn (Schwarzer Schwan which means black swan in German). Pleae find my name if anyone of you play it hahahha. Next update is, my brother from another mother, yj officially a lawyer last Septermber (I think?).
Also, I went to a christmas performance which my somewhat I used to have feelings for performed in, at Pavi Bukit Jalil, after that performance, I posted igs tsutaya bookstore with my friends and he replied, "Again?? Why are you hiding~~~" I can just laugh and reply saying I am not hiding, just in a rush. Then he never replied to my text again, not even like. hahahahah. Actually he invited me to come which I think he didnt mean it and just done out of courtesy when I asked him what performance he did.
"Do come by if you are free. And this time let me know when you are there"
'Alright! eh. ahhahahahahhahaha 🙈"
Then I came and not tell him again hahahha. I mean, he said that out of courtesy, I came there out of courtesy. Then what's the problem if I didnt tell him? If he wants to see me, then he will come to me lah kan? I think we are friend, not really close tho. We are friend, but not close enough to the point I will tell him if I went to watch his performance. Like my other friend who are very active in performing gendang cina, I didnt tell him either I went to the event.
Another update, I did cryptography FYP and I scored solid A+. My cute application goes far, hahahha. My lecturer so kind for giving me that marks. Chatgpt for coding purpose when I stucked, V0 for interface I designed on Figma. Oh and the lecturer helped me to send it on the international conference.
Then I did my internship as IT Audit and accidentally altered client's data. That happened in my last week and I didnt realized, no one realized until the customer complained. I dont even know how that happened. My seniors are all nice and good to me, but the intership season was traumatizing even when I remember my senior's name because he has been there with me. He's so kind and warm, but I hate the day I spent bcs I intended to help them and lessen their burden. But Iclosed my chapters with increasing their work. I felt bad and I consider myself to do my departure in a bad way bcs I don't need or want to appear in their life again as Ik will just create more mess.
In my time doing internship in KL, I learnt playing harp. It was fun!!! I have been wanting to learn music, and one day after ctf APU2024, I thought, maybe I should learn harp. It was a dream comes true.
Oh lastly, my endometrioma recurring so I have to put my judo and silat stuff on hold. So maybe I will get work and just study music in time being since my main dopamine source were put on hold. hhahahaha.
I will be doing my stage 2 interview, which was a technical interview to do pentest and my parents are getting older now and got sick quite frequent (tiber). Please pray for us. Auf wiedershen!
