I look at the time now, it's gonna finish a bit late.
"I can't make it home by the last train as it finished tonight". I told my friend whom was a committee for the event that night. That's what I thought. If the event started at 8 the latest, I will be home maybe by 12 or 1am and I am working tomorrow. It took around 1h30m from home to there or the earliest maybe around 1h.
'It's okay, I will make it next year and meet her later'
I reassured myself. The next day, I still think of that night that I cancelled my initial plan because I got sick and can't go to office. I had to compensate the missing day to the next day.
While I was going down the escalator this next morning, I suddenly thought,
"How am I so confident there will be the 'later' next year?" Yes, I kept asking myself the same question while setting up my workplace and getting some work done until it's time for the Scrum Meeting I hate.
and suddenly my colleague said,
"Tun Hasmah meninggal."
It was a short sentence, but it woke me up totally from my morning sleepiness. I was flustered, I felt like I can feel my bloodstream moving faster and cold sweat hit me for awhile. It sounded nothing for someone who is not related by blood, but I got a flashback of losing my own grandma -- whom I lost before I got to fulfill her wish to cook for her 12 years ago. It was the classic 'later' story.
It sounded like a normal shocking news, but for me who has been saying 'later' to the last event I supposed to come and meet her, it meant a lot. It meant an unsettling resentment of hoping there will be a 'later'. The news struck me like lightning in the middle of sunny day.
I don't usually cry for a random famous person, but this isn't just a normal famous person.
Among the earliest women from Malaya to become a medical doctor.
The woman who had contributed a lot to education and health.
The woman who became a symbol of education and classy manner.
The woman who inspired other women to be kind, compassionate, and educated.
Losing her means losing one half kindness in the world.
كُلُّ نَفۡسٍ ذَآئِقَةُ ٱلۡمَوۡتِۖ ثُمَّ إِلَيۡنَا تُرۡجَعُونَ
(Every soul will taste death)
اَللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لَهَا وَارْحَمْهَا، وَعَافِهَا وَاعْفُ عَنْهَا
Ya Rabb, Allah, forgive her, have mercy on her, grant her safety, and pardon her.
Ya Rabb, May your blessings and mercy is showered to her and protect her in hereafter, may her good deeds on this world will speak for her in the hereafter.
It makes me remember of some saying,
The death will come to you like an old friend,
and so I hope this old friend is nice to Tun Hasmah. Her job and work in this world has finished and she indeed has done a lot to many people. May her good deed become an endless river for her rizq in hereafter.
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